Episode 508: Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High Functioning Co-Dependency with Terri Cole
Are you the go-to problem solver in your business and personal life? Do you find yourself constantly managing others' emotions while putting your own needs last? You might be experiencing what psychotherapist Terri Cole calls “high functioning codependency” – a modern evolution of codependent behavior that's particularly common among ambitious, capable entrepreneurs.
In this enlightening episode of Thrive by Design, I sat down with my dear friend and licensed psychotherapist Terri Cole to discuss her new book, “Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High Functioning Codependency.” This conversation is especially crucial for creative entrepreneurs who often find themselves wearing multiple hats and managing various relationships in their business and personal lives.
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
- [4:25] The surprising signs you might be a high-functioning codependent
- [8:15] Why being “great in a crisis” might be hurting your business
- [12:30] How to stop giving unsolicited advice and start listening effectively
- [15:45] Breaking free from the trap of hyper-independence
- [21:10] Setting boundaries without damaging relationships
- [28:55] Transforming your business by valuing your own needs first
The Hidden Side of Being “The Capable One”
High-functioning codependency isn't what you might think. As Terri explains, it's not about enabling addiction or being dependent on others. Instead, it's about being overly invested in others' outcomes, feelings, and circumstances – often to the detriment of your own peace and business growth.
Common signs include:
- Being the first to jump into crisis mode
- Giving unsolicited advice and feeling frustrated when it's not taken
- Over-functioning in relationships and business partnerships
- Struggling to receive help or support
- Anticipating and preventing problems before they happen
Why This Matters for Your Business
When you're caught in the cycle of high-functioning codependency, you're creating an invisible ceiling in your business. You might be:
- Spending valuable energy managing others' emotions instead of growing your business
- Avoiding necessary conflicts that could lead to positive change
- Missing opportunities because you're too busy “helping” others
- Burning out from constant over-functioning
Breaking Free: Practical Steps
Terri shares powerful strategies for recovery:
- Practice empathic listening instead of auto-advice-giving
- Take regular “resentment inventories” to identify where boundaries are needed
- Learn to disappoint others when necessary for your wellbeing
- Start embracing the power of receiving help and support
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Share your insights: How has high-functioning codependency shown up in your business? Join the conversation on Instagram @Flourish_Thrive
xo, Tracy
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Links in this episode:
Follow @terricole on Instagram!
Terri’s new book: Too Much: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle of High-Functioning Codependency
Save a Seat: Your Best Year Yet! Masterclass
Join Your Year to Thrive Program
Buy My Bestselling Book: The Desired Brand Effect